Day 70

I wasn't kidding when I wrote yesterday that is wasn't gonna be a good day. I am now declaring that Sunday was my 'free' day. Now I have to make up for all the bad I did :( Waffles for breakfast, Qdoba for lunch, popcorn and a hot dog for dinner....not one decent thing was put in to my body yesterday...well, except for some water!!! It was a nice day though :) Today gotta hop back on to the good stuff bandwagon. Less than two weeks til my final weigh-in!

Day 70: Unintended free day. Whoopsy daisy.

Day 69

I didn't write anything down that I ate yesterday. I guess that means I didn't eat anything. Or...I just don't want to admit to what I ate. Let's see if I can recall....Ok, started out with shredded wheat and skim milk. Nothing bad there. Scooted off to my circuit class at the gym after that...had a great hour workout. Scooted off to the mall after a shower and stuff. Um, went to the mall hungry....tried to find the least horrible food in the food court for lunch. Settled on Hot Dog on a Stick. Pretty healthy right? I just got tired of thinking. Hey...they advertise that it's an all turkey hot dog. Great. Scooted off to a girly gathering in the afternoon...had a couple adult beverages. Went home and ate leftover shepard's pie along with potato chips and cookies. The day is just getting better, isn't it??? Holy cow, now I know why I didn't write all of this down. Scooted on back to the friend's house and had a couple more adult beverages. There aren't too many calories in those...right? Son of a gun...another weekend day completely blowing up in my face. I burned several calories laughing myself silly, so it wasn't all bad!! Today is not starting out to be any better. Good thing tomorrow is Monday and I can get back to my goody goody ways!

Day 69: Um, yeah.

Days 67-68

Well today I decided to blog first, then play games second. Yesterday, I got caught up in playing a few games and forgot to blog!

Thursday's food:

Breakfast 8:45: 2 slices light wheat bread w/ 1 oz mozzarella melted on each, 1 orange, 4 oz skim milk

Lunch 1:30: 2 hard boiled eggs, 2 cups 'triple hearts' salad, 1 tomato, crunchy o's protein supplement

Snack 3:30: Reese's egg (DARN IT!!)

Dinner 6:30: 6 oz of chicken breast (w/ bread crumbs, and parmesan cheese), 1/3 cup thin spaghetti, 2 T. marinara sauce, 1 oz mozzarella

Friday's foods:

Breakfast 10:00: protein supplement pancakes w/ banana on top

Lunch 12:00: 1 cup salad, 1 slice sausage pizza, 2 slices bread dipped in balsamic (Out to lunch)

Snack 4:00: 2 Tagalong cookies

Dinner 6:30: shepard's pie (basically meatloaf with mashed potatoes and cheese on top), corn

Snack 8:00: way too many thin mints....Holy cow!!

What can I say? Still feeling good about things....just had a few weak moments...like I seem to do most of the time! Thursday the whole Reese's egg was not my fault. I asked Beau if I could have a bite of his. Once he saw the bite out of it he didn't want it anymore. What was I supposed to do, waste it? Yeah...I'm weak!

Day 67 = pretty good day

Day 68 = comfort food day

Day 66

:) I'm pretty much riding high on the news that I have lost 51 pounds since January 9, 2009! I hadn't looked at my record at the gym for a while since I haven't been working with a trainer. I decided to meet with a trainer again yesterday and we dug out that folder and discovered just how far I've come 'officially'. I almost cried!!! It was crazy to recall just how unhappy I was, and how little I thought I could do for a workout. All of you that have been following this little blog know that I don't have this all figured out. And I'm not skipping around merrily all of the time. I'm just feeling better in my skin. Here is an example of something I would have NEVER done before 2009....After my workout yesterday, I came home and shoveled our foot of heavy, wet snow for an hour. The neighbor asked if I wanted some help...I told her, nope, it's a good workout! I used my knees...my hands weren't shaking afterwards...I'm not crippled by back pain today. I actually WANTED to do it. My energy level is so much higher. I am so thankful for the progress I've made! (My home weigh-in progress is 45.5 pounds lost....I'm kinda liking the official gym numbers better these days!)

Here's what yesterday's food looked like:

Breakfast 7:45 am: french toast: 2 slices light wheat bread dipped in 2 egg whites w/ 1/3 cup pureed frozen mixed berries on top for 'syrup', 4 oz skim milk to drink

Lunch 1:00 pm: Tuna salad on wheat, with lettuce and tomato

Snack 4:00 pm: 1/2 bag of microwave popcorn

Dinner 6:30 pm: 3 oz orange roughy, 2 cups baby spinach w/ fat free catalina dressing, 1/2 cup green beans

Snack 7:30 pm: protein bar, couple of handfuls of Life cereal

I'm learning that if I make some healthy stuff, there are actually other people in the house who will eat it. I was supposed to have 6 oz of the fish, but there were a couple of my kids, one big one and one small one, that wanted some too...which surprised me! Guess I'll make it for everyone next time! I hadn't made fish for quite some time and it tasted so good, and was so darn easy. I was asking myself why I didn't fix it more often...well, I know there's one reason...the kind of fish I like is usually pretty expensive....

My daughter who is two, couldn't get enough green beans and spinach last night. I really hope that continues as she gets older! I can only apologize now to my older kids for the bad eating habits we were in the thick of as they grew up. Right now they are all skinny kids like I was when I was younger. Hopefully, they will start to eat better too, or they won't stay that way as they get older....Gosh, it's hard to see the mistakes you've made with your kids.

Day 66: Awesome day!

Day 65

The scale is moving this week! Yesterday was another good and bad day...but I was so good the first part of the day, I don't think the second half hurt me too much. I'm blaming the second half of the day on the snowstorm that has dumped 11.5 inches on us!

Breakfast 9:30: 2 egg whites scrambled with 1/4 of a green pepper, 1 piece of Orowheat Light wheat bread, 4 oz skim milk, 1/2 grapefruit

Lunch 1:15: 5 oz ground turkey on a Smart and Delicious tortilla, 1/2 cup cooked broccoli, 2 oz cheddar cheese (a little on the tortilla, a little on the broccoli), water to drink

Dessert 2:00: pudding protein supplement

Pre-dinner treat 5:30: one glass of wine

Dinner 7:00: 6 chicken nuggets, 1/2 medium Dr. Pepper, a little less than half a medium fry...yes from McDonalds again, 1 cup baby spinach w/ fat free catalina dressing... 2 Thin Mints

Snack 10:00: 1 Tagalong cookie

I had decided early on in the day that I wasn't going to work out yesterday. I broke a bone last year in my ankle/foot and every once in a while, I start to feel like it has been stressed or something. I try to listen to my body as much as I can, and I'm pretty sure my ankle was telling me to lay off for a day.

I had a hair appointment right at the time our snowstorm started hitting. I had a bit of a challenging drive home...and was getting home later than I thought, so there were hungry troops waiting who did not want to wait an hour while I prepared what I was supposed to make for dinner. So, through the drive-thru I went on my way home....and got something for myself as well as everyone else. Still glad that I can't make it through a whole pop, or the extra value meals I was accustomed to eating before. I didn't feel too bad about it because I knew I had been pretty darn good so far the whole day.

Wouldn't you know, I got the last boxes of Girl Scout cookies this week that I had ordered! Oh, if only they had forgotten I ordered them! Yeah, I had 3 cookies last night. You got a problem with that? I didn't think so!!! :)

I also received my lab results from blood work I had done at my annual check up. My triglycerides are elevated. I'm supposed to decrease fat and cholesterol. Hmph. I actually didn't expect that....since I have already dropped a good chunk of weight, I thought I would have good numbers. They are just slightly above the range they are supposed to be in, but it was a bit of a wake up call. I guess it just shows me I still have work to do...and I need to pay a little bit more attention to leaving some certain things off of my plate. Oh, and I need some more Vitamin D. Can't wait for warm weather so I can get my 15 minutes of sun a day!

I didn't participate in Free Pastry Day at Starbucks yesterday. I had printed off the coupon, and was gonna go, but I knew if I went there, I would indulge in some way, even if I got the pastry to give to the kids. I'm really glad I didn't since the evening turned out much different than I had planned. I would have had more 'mess-ups' and I don't need that!

Day 65: I'm not sure what it is, but I'm motivated this week. Maybe it's because I realize there are less than three weeks left of the challenge at the gym. I'm just glad it's working for me right now!

Days 63-64

Sometimes, I just don't understand myself! I had another less than stellar day on Sunday. My son went and got doughnuts, and I didn't resist the urge to have them. We got hot wings for dinner. I did have half the amount than the last time we got them, but they were still not a great choice as far as nutrition goes. But then yesterday, I had a really good day! Besides the fact that I kinda forgot to eat lunch....I started out with a slice of bread with mozzarella cheese melted on it in the broiler, and 1/2 of a grapefruit. It was good to have something a little different, I guess. Then I went and did a 40 minute cardio workout later in the morning, and had a protein bar right after. One graham cracker when I got home. I headed to the grocery store. I do have to say that eating healthy is much more expensive than eating unhealthy. I spent too much money, but got plenty of things to help me stick to some good eating this week. (That was one problem on Sunday....it was pretty bare around here, especially of any healthy stuff). So, last night for dinner, I cooked up some ground turkey, divided it in to four portions. Put 5 oz in individual baggies so I have good protein to grab quickly. I used one portion to make chili for me. I pureed a tomato, added 1/4 cup water, chili powder, cayenne pepper, dried minced onion, salt, pepper, and let it simmer for a bit. It was so darn good! I didn't miss the beans, or cheese that I usually have in my chili. Or the hamburger, for that matter. So glad that I try these things! Also, I had 1 1/2 cups of baby spinach for a salad, with some Kraft fat-free Catalina dressing. I finished off with a Dulce de Lece pudding protein supplement. No Reese's egg yesterday! No plunging in to a bag of chips! This is what I don't understand about me....how can I go from a very bad day to a very good one? I didn't have any cravings for bad stuff yesterday. I felt good, and I feel good today...ready to rock it again!

Day 63: eh...a bunch of junk

Day 64: healthy eating was fun!

Motivation

I shared at the beginning of this blog that I was starting a challenge at my gym. My motivation for starting the blog was that particular event. I was recently asked about my motivation for working out and losing weight. This question has me scratching my head. I've been looking for the 'right' motivation for working out and losing weight for over twenty years. Something seems to be working right now, but can I pinpoint what it is? I'm not sure...but I'll try.

The journey I am on right now is one that encompasses so much more than just losing weight. Yeah, my initial journey started because we were taking a trip to Hawaii. Oh, and there was my husband's high school reunion in 2009. Sometimes, events like these are enough to get me going. I did not enjoy my own high school reunion in 2008 as much as I would have liked because I wasn't feeling good about myself. I felt like I was completely socially awkward. I had a hard time engaging in conversations that weekend. I had a hard time walking up to people. I kinda stood back and waited for people to come to me. Um...talk about a wake-up call. I usually thrive on interaction with people. I had a 6 month old baby at home, and was glad to use this as an excuse for why I looked the way I did. I'd been using that same old excuse for nearly 20 years! Never mind the highest weight I had been (prior to these last two babies), was 4 years AFTER I had my 3rd son. That's a little hard to excuse as 'baby weight'. That weekend of my reunion helped me to start on my quest because I didn't recognize the girl I was INSIDE anymore. The outside of me was now making the inside of me in to someone I didn't know....or like.

There was the motivation of an event, or events...the trip and the reunion. There is the motivation of trying to recognize myself again. But what I think is the hardest thing to figure out is the motivation each and every day when I am in the thick of my struggles, the stresses of life, and the 'busy'ness of life. I do know the feeling of sitting down in my kitchen, trying to draw up a plan of what to eat for the week, getting completely overwhelmed and saying 'to heck with it all' and grabbing a container of ice cream out of the freezer. I know the feeling of not knowing where to start. I know the feeling of being embarrassed to step in to a gym. I know the feeling of aching joints that seem to want to keep me from exercising. So how do I break free of those things and get up and go to the gym or for a walk? Honestly, in the beginning, I did have to pay for it. I paid for a personal trainer for several weeks. Since I was investing some money, I knew I had to make it to those training sessions. Since he gave me a sample meal plan to follow and had me keep a food diary, I had to make an effort to follow that plan so I could show him I was trying. Now, 'exercise' is just something I have to do every day. In some form or another, I know I need to be active. I'm not always successful at it every day, and I do give myself at least one day off a week. Especially after I get out of the routine for a vacation or something, it seems very easy to get back in the habit of doing nothing. I have to fight with the urge to be lazy....because I am very definitely lazy. I only have to remind myself how much more energy I have after I actually exert some energy! I also realize this is something I need to do for the rest of my life, not just in this time of 'losing weight'.

My day to day motivation is also dictated by the scale. It is a huge rush to me to see the number on the scale going down. I know there are all kinds of opinions about this...and I've said before that it may not work for everyone. But it does work for me. I step on it and it's like hitting a jackpot or something. If I have gone down even a half a pound, I have an extra pep in my step.

I mentioned how the trainer had me start keeping a food diary...he just wanted to see what I was eating and when. I add a bit more to that...often I am writing just how I'm feeling that day, that moment....I guess you see some of that in my blog. And oh, yes, the blog. At first, this blog was a huge motivator to stay on track. I didn't want to have to report my failures to everyone! I think I am still looking for the right motivation to eat better. I know I feel better when I eat the right things. I know I felt pretty yucky yesterday after eating a few too many cookies. I guess I just need to remind myself of how the different foods have an effect on me. Having to be accountable to someone or something (my food diary or my blog) is something that helps to motivate me.

I have no idea if this little post will be helpful to anyone. I continue to try and fail on a daily basis. I have good days and I have bad days. One thing that has been hugely motivating is just the encouragement I get from so many people. It makes me glad that I put this struggle out there for everyone to see, because almost every day I get an email, or comment from someone sharing their struggles, giving some advice, complimenting me, or even ASKING my advice. ALL of those things are motivating to me. Who doesn't want to know that they aren't going through this alone? That people care enough about them to advise or compliment ? That they have made enough of a difference that people ask their advice? All of that makes me feel absolutely wonderful...and I can't thank everyone enough!

Days 60-62

I don't know what is going on, but I keep forgetting to do this darn blog! The last few days, instead of logging on here, I have logged on to yahoo, and have been playing Spades instead. Priorities, Kari, come on!!

The last three days have not been stellar. But I can tell you that when I weighed in on Friday, it was my lowest weight yet! 175! Yeehaw! But then the weekend hit...and some other womanly thing hit too. Thursday I didn't do too bad...eggs and toast, strawberry and milk smoothie. I had my protein supplement pancakes for lunch with a banana, some graham cracker for snack, along with one of my beloved Reese's eggs. Dinner was beef short ribs and potatoes. More graham crackers later on that evening and another Reese's egg for dessert. (I told you it wasn't stellar!!)

Friday saw cream of wheat for breakfast, 1/2 of a chimichanga for lunch along with a tasty cold adult beverage (love going to lunch with a friend :) , and then some samplings of food at a 'gala' we went to Friday night. The samplings were like a tiny bit of coleslaw, a spoonful of some pasta dish, some orange chicken and fried rice...I think that is all I had. Not exactly 'good for you' fare. I did see some veggies and salad across the room. That stuff didn't quite make it on to my plate. Oh, and a few more tasty adult beverages. I did have my swim class which felt like a good workout! Bad and good, good and bad. AGAIN!

Yesterday I had some shredded wheat. Then I had most amazing workout I think I've ever had. It was my circuit class at the gym, but we did 'cross training', which had us going from cardio for 15 minutes to the different circuit exercises for 15 minutes, back to cardio for another 15, then a totally different bunch of circuit exercises for 15 minutes. I actually did 15 minutes of cardio prior to the class starting, so I had a bunch of good exercise yesterday! There were times I didn't think I was going to make it through the workout. But I pushed myself, and was so proud after it was all done. I had a blast on the treadmill. I can share with those who are interested just what he had us do. I have never pushed myself to run that fast on the treadmill. It was crazy but awesome!! I had a workout shake right after my class, and a banana when I got home, along with some graham crackers. I went to a party where I indulged in about 10 chips and guacamole, 4 crackers with cheese and two brownie bites, along with part of a beer. Then dinner was the lovely McDonalds. I was so glad to have some french fries. Sorry to you all, but I was craving salty food and boy did that hit the spot! My son made some oatmeal cookies yesterday, and I indulged in way too many of those. Yeah, definitely less than a stellar day. But I'm still so high off my amazing workout, I don't want to dwell on the 'mistakes'. :)

Days 60-62: What can I say? It's life that is happening to me. I am enjoying my time with family and friends, giving in to cravings, actually enjoying some exercise, washing a floor every now and then...among a trillion other things. I'm not perfect...I don't have this 'down'...I don't have some great diet I can write a book about and share with others. I struggle every day. But I can tell you that I am feeling a gazillion times better about myself. I don't have the hottest body in the pool or restaurant or event center, but it's a body I feel pretty good in right now. And not only because it's a few sizes smaller. I feel good in this body because it is a body that is working so much better than it did before. I don't get winded just climbing up the stairs to our second floor. I can pick up 20 pound weights and step up and down on a giant step for 40 seconds at a time, without feeling like I'm gonna keel over. I don't hesitate to take a walk to the park with the kids anymore because I don't have to worry about whether I will be in pain or not on the way back home. Yeah, I think I'll keep going. 175 pound Kari is a much happier and healthy person than 220 pound Kari.

Day 59

I guess I was kind of still on my break yesterday. I started out with shredded wheat and skim milk for breakfast...then broke down and had a cheeseburger at lunch. I also broke down and had one of those Reese's eggs....those have got to be one of my favorite candies. They are so much better than the regular peanut butter cup because there is so much more of the peanut butter! I LOVE THEM!! It used to be they only came out with the eggs at Easter...now they have trees at Christmas. I'm sure they probably had something at Valentine's Day and oh yeah, I think there were pumpkins at Halloween. Definitely one of my weaknesses. Boy, I have many of those!!! (Oh, and dinner was a banana, cottage cheese and one small slice of leftover pizza, all spread out over about two hours.)

Instead of hitting the gym yesterday, I decided to enjoy our beautiful weather, and took a fast-paced one-hour walk around town. I had the tunes cranked, and probably looked kinda silly with a smile plastered on my face. It was so good to get outside! I had also walked to the park with my baby girl earlier in the day. That was a pretty good workout too, because she wanted to be carried most of the way. She walked the whole way this weekend....I don't know why she couldn't do it yesterday! Oh well....she was like some weight dumbbells or something :)

I vowed yesterday morning to make it an amazing day. I think I accomplished that! Besides being ready to clock out of my mom duties at about 9:00 pm last night...and reminding myself that clocking out doesn't ever really happen...I had a day of pretty positive thinking, not beating myself up, and sunshine! Amazing what a couple of days of sunshine and warm weather does for my attitude!

Day 59: Hello Sun! Sorry, you'll be leaving again for a bit...I will be eagerly awaiting your return!!

Day 58

Yesterday I didn't keep track of what I ate. We ordered pizza for dinner...I nibbled on some of the kids' McDonalds at lunch time, then had a bowl of cereal with a banana mid-afternoon. That banana was my only fruit or veggie yesterday...besides the tomato sauce on the pizza...heeheehee. But it was a good day. It helped to vent my frustrations first thing in the morning on this blog. It helped that it was one of those beautiful Colorado days. It helped that I got to lay down for an hour and have someone work magic on my body. (Speaking of a massage, ya'll...I know some of you were probably going a different direction....) It helped that I just didn't stress about what I was going to eat and not going to eat for the day. It helped that several of you sent your encouragement my way. I'm not sure if I'm ready to be gung ho today, but I have plans to make it an amazing day, somehow :)

Day 58: How many breaks am I going to take on this journey, anyway?!

Day 57

So, I told a friend yesterday that I was tired of myself. Announced it to the facebook world this morning too. I am so tired of screwing up as I'm trying to make it to this goal. Why am I not motivated enough to stick to my guns? Why is the reward that I am promising myself for every ten pounds lost, not enough to keep me from grabbing a bag of Cheetos? I'm just sick of the excuses I continue to make...I don't feel good, I'm about to get my period, I deserve to mess up a little because I've been 'good', I need to get to the grocery store, etc.

And here is the kicker...I don't want to try anything else. I know how to eat pretty well, I know how to get to the gym...I don't want to try this diet plan or that one, or that workout machine or this one. My attitude is pretty poor at the moment, I guess. I just want this to happen. Maybe 2009 was not such a good year for me. I lost weight pretty easy. I made a few changes and it just came off. The official total was 38.5 pounds in one year. Now I don't seem to know how to do the 'real' work. Most of that weight loss happened in the first eight months. The last six months has resulted in the same 4 or 5 pounds being lost and gained again and again. It's easy to see, when looking at the diary I'm keeping of the food I am eating, just why this happens. I want a healthy lifestyle but am unwilling to give up ALL of the unhealthy stuff. And then I either sabotage myself by buying stuff I know I shouldn't have, or someone else brings it into the house, and I can't seem to resist. Blah, blah, blah....SEE! You have got to be sick of hearing this stuff over and over again too!

I am finally going to go reward myself for 40 pounds lost today. I am getting a massage. I LOVE getting massages. I wish I could get them every day, or every week at least! I have made this my reward for every 10 pounds lost. Since I have had a hard time staying under that 179 weight that is officially 40 pounds lost, I have put off the reward until I could maintain it for a bit. Well, besides my weigh-in after Vegas, I have stayed at or under that since February 9th. I guess it's about time I celebrate it. Now....how about I make it to the next 10 pound milestone? Motivation, inspiration, any other 'tion' that could help me out...I'm looking for it!!!!

Day 57: Crap, crap and more crap. Don't even want to admit to it all. Is this where people often give up? I'm sure it is. But this is a lifetime commitment. A rough week, is not going to break me. I may start bawling here in a bit, but maybe that's what I need...just to let it all out!!!

Day 56

I don't have much good to report about yesterday. I felt very strange...after eating one of my normal breakfasts of shredded wheat, I was very dizzy. I thought perhaps I needed some protein, so I had some cottage cheese, and drank some water. That wasn't helping, so instead of going to work out, as I had intended, I went to lay down. I spent a good portion of the day just resting in my bed, trying to keep the room from spinning. I did force down 2 cups of romaine lettuce for lunch/snack. But I also tried some other things. I didn't really feel sick or nauseous...just dizzy. So weird! The healthy stuff didn't work so I tried some sugar...that seemed to help a little. But I went overboard then. It was like an excuse to eat crap. At least by dinner time, I was feeling normal again. Finished off the day by making white chicken chili, which was very good. Minus the cheese and sour cream in it, it would probably be pretty healthy too.

Day 56: Weird day. And it snowed again...after a beautiful day Saturday. What the heck?!!

Days 54-55

I totally forgot to write yesterday! Sorry about that! So here are the last two days....

Friday:

Breakfast 7:15 am: 1 cup Cheerios, 1 banana, 1 cup skim milk

Snack 11:10 am: protein bar

Lunch 12:45 pm: Applebee's Lunch Pair: (tomato basil soup, shrimp salad) Dr. Pepper and 1/2 a chocolate mousse dessert shooter :)

Snack 3:00 pm: 12 pretzel sticks, 1 graham cracker

Dinner 7:00 pm: Soft pretzel

Snack 9:00 pm: 2 Coors Lights

Saturday:

Breakfast 8:00 am: 1 whole bagel, 1 T. peanut butter, water to drink

Snack 12:30 pm: protein bar

Lunch 1:00 pm: 1/2 ham sandwich (Beau didn't finish his), 3 egg white, 1/4 of a green pepper, 1/8 cup monterey jack cheese (I was starving after my workout!)

Snack 5:00 pm: 1 graham cracker, 3 pizza rolls

Dinner 7:00 pm: Hooters hot wings (12), 8 curly fries, 1 Coors Light

Friday I had my swim class. I got there early and did about 10 minutes of laps myself. Then we had a 45 minute class. It was a good workout! I am getting a little frustrated because I can't seem to get the whole turning and breathing thing very well...about halfway down the length of the pool, I get a mouth or nose full of water. But I'm not discouraged! I really want to learn...I find being in the water very fun for a different kind of exercise!

I went to the Broomfield girls basketball championship game Friday night and watched them win their 4th consecutive state title! It was a 6 pm game...and I broke down and bought one of those soft, big pretzels....but I bought a $3.50 water instead of a pop! Concession stands are not exactly the best places to try and get your dinner when you are trying to be careful with fat and calories :)

Yesterday was a beautiful day! I had my circuit class at the gym, which I really like! I sweat A LOT and feel like I am getting an awesome work out! After lunch, my husbandand I and three of our kids walked to the park. It was so nice to be outside! I have been missing the warmth and the sunshine. I am so ready for warm weather! It was not a brisk walk, since there were two toddlers making the trek, but at least it was getting out and off our butts!

I did really well with my nutrition yesterday until I was craving hot wings for dinner....They tasted so amazing....I didn't stop at the 6 or 7 I was going to have. There are a lot of calories in hot wings...too bad! Thankfully, I had my workout yesterday to kind of even things out...but Hooters hot wings did not help me to make any headway! Darn my cravings!

Days 54-55: Balance....it's what I'm trying to find. It all does seem like checks and balances...if I have that, then I shouldn't have that.... I am realizing this is for a lifetime. I had to get away from the mentality that after I lose the weight I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want. All that did was make me want the things I wasn't having, even more. Yeah, I wish the weight were coming off faster. But I am happy that I am making changes that I can live with forever. Yes, I continue to have weak moments...sometimes seems like I'm sabotaging myself when I undo all the good I've done with one splurge of a meal. It is really helping me to stay sane, though. And staying sane is something good to strive for, in my opinion. :)

Day 53

Not a whole lot to say about yesterday...Here are the facts:

Breakfast 10:00 am: 1 whole bagel, 1 T. natural peanut butter, 1 cup OJ

Lunch/Dinner 4:30 pm: soft taco supreme, water to drink

Dinner 6:15 pm: 1/2 cup 1% cottage cheese

Dinner/Snack 7:30 pm: 2 cups romaine lettuce, 1 T. fat free catalina dressing, 3/4 Froot Loops, 1/2 cup 2% milk

Snack 8:30 pm: 12 pretzel sticks

It was just kind of a messed up day! I'm not complaining because I really didn't go overboard on anything...which is really good. I guess I wasn't hungry first thing in the morning, so I put off breakfast...which caused me not to be hungry for lunch when I should have been. Then we went to a basketball tournament thing at the middle school, which lasted longer than I thought it would. So, I kinda missed lunch altogether!

I'm pretty happy that I'm back down to what I was before Vegas happened. Whew! Now to continue the downward progress....

Day 53: Kari was pretty darn good :)

Day 52

If you read the entry I made last night, you know I didn't get my butt in to the gym yesterday. Brooke was protesting when I was ready to leave, and I knew she needed a nap, so I decided to lay down with her instead of going to the gym. I was feeling guilty about leaving the kids....After my little trip, and leaving them on Tuesday a couple of different times, AND since I would be leaving for a meeting in the evening, I decided cuddling up with her would be fine. I intend to go today. :) Here's what yesterday looked like:

Breakfast 8:30: 1 cup shredded wheat, 3/4 cup skim milk

Snack 10:30: Protein shake blended with 10 strawberries, 2.5 graham crackers

Lunch 1:00: 3 egg whites, 1/4 green papper, 1/8 cup monterey jack cheese, 1 slice whole wheat toast w/ 1 T. natural peanut butter, water to drink

Snack 4:00: Hershey bar, 10 cheese puffs

Dinner? 8:00: About 20 kettle chips, w/ some sort of dip (which was very yummy, and I'm sure very lowfat and low cal...bwahahaha), 1 tagalong cookie, 1 Lindor truffle, about 6 oz of Dr. Pepper

I did get in about 80 oz of water yesterday. I was tracking my calories on livestrong, and I knew that I had 110 calories remaining for the day when I left for my meeting at 6:15. I had intended to eat a salad and some cottage cheese before I left, so I wouldn't be hungry and I could pass on the snack food there. However, I was running late, which always seems to happen, and I ended up heading to the meeting hungry. So a-snacking I did go. Poo! Instead of being right on with my calories for the day, I ended up like 400 over (probably more, really) Bummer. I opened the door when I opened the Hershey bar...my "good" day, plunged in to "bad"!!!

Day 52: I feel guilty I missed my exercise, but I don't feel guilty about spending the time with the kids instead :)

Day 51

I can't believe I forgot to blog this morning! Boy, one weekend away and it's throwing my whole little routine off! I kinda got back on track yesterday. Then went right back off. Oops.

Breakfast: 1 cup Cheerios, 3/4 cup skim milk

Post-workout Snack: protein bar

Lunch: 2 Chicken strips from ChickFilA, small order of waffle fries, water to drink

Snack: Hershey's Cookies n Cream candy bar, apple

Dinner: 3 small cod strips (out to eat), about 8 french fries, Coors Light

I worked out on the elliptical yesterday. I was only able to endure it for 39 minutes. Too many sore places, mainly my knees. I hate taking time off from working out...Just makes starting up again so darn hard. I went to Vegas with the intention of working out every day except maybe one. But when you have to pay to use the gym in the hotel, it seems less appealing. I did see people running outside on the strip...couldn't even think about doing that. Too many dang people. With my luck, I would trip and fall...probably right in front of those people handing out the nice little cards and pamphlets about the lovely lady companions around town. Oh well, that's in the past, and I just need to get back in my routine. (A little preview of tomorrow's blog...I didn't do crap today, as far as exercise. Any little excuse to not go has been sufficient so far. I really hate disappointing myself, so why do I do it? Losing my "trainer" buddy has been rough...no direction when I get to the gym...and on days like today, no extra reason to make it there in the first place.)

Day 51: Good and bad, good and bad, yet again!

Day 50

I don't have much to report about yesterday. I mean, I don't have much that I WANT to report about yesterday. Apparently, I was still on vacation. I started the day with some oatmeal...but it just went downhill from there. I didn't really have another meal after that. Just snacked on various things like Smart Puffs, graham crackers, cereal, a bagel. Not one vegetable, and part of an apple as my only fruit. I do have a little bit of an excuse...the cupboards and fridge are bare. I needed to get to the store, but my body was not cooperating. I was tired, and sore from walking around Vegas in less than great shoes. I'm trying to get back on track today, but I've been up since 2:30 am, so it's going to be a struggle. Lack of sleep makes me want all the wrong things to eat. I will try my best to get back on track...Send me your positive vibes! :)

Days 45-49

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Day 44

It was an interesting day yesterday. I actually did ok, with a couple of minor indulgences. But I had a big struggle in the afternoon after my workout. I was so very hungry. In fact, about half way through my workout, I was already hungry! I didn't completely fall off and grab junk...but I certainly wasn't ready to grab a salad or something either. Here goes:

Breakfast 9:30 am: 1/2 plain bagel, 1 T. natural peanut butter, 1 cup Orange Juice w/ calcium

Pre-Lunch Indulgence 12:30 pm: Kroger cheese puffs...about 10 (they are small :), 1/3 cup Kraft macaroni and cheese (light preparation which is skim milk, and half the butter) It's what I was making for the kids...

Lunch 1:00 pm: 2 egg whites, 1 egg, 1/8 cup shredded monterey jack cheese, 1/2 red pepper

Post-workout snack 3:45 pm: APEX workout shake, 2 graham cracker sheets, 1/4 cup lightly salted cashews (it was suggested to have some nuts when I mentioned I was so hungry..almonds would have been preferable, but this was all I had on hand, and they did the trick...for a little while)

Post-post-workout snack 4:40 pm: 1 apple (and lots of water, finally helped to take the hunger away!)

Dinner 7:45 pm: about 4 oz of pork tenderloin (w/ a bunch of spices, done in crock pot) on a smart and delicious whole wheat tortilla w/ 1/8 cup cheddar cheese, water to drink.

Evening Snack 9:00 pm: protein bar

I had an hour workout on the elliptical, burning about 700 calories. I drank ten 8 oz glasses of water throughout the day.

It was just a crazy day as far as my hunger goes. Ate breakfast late, and lunch late enough to fuel my workout, I thought, anyway! I'm just glad that when I was extremely hungry, I kept my head straight enough to grab things that weren't as bad as, say the potato chips in the cupboard. Good news is, there are fewer things like that for me to choose from. I haven't been buying as much stuff to tempt myself. But there is usually always something around for me to grab, like the cheese puffs today, while I was making lunch for everybody. I know...some celery or carrots would have been a better choice. But hey, I know my weaknesses...I won't buy those anymore! :)

Day 44: Pretty successful day! Seriously....I can't imagine anyone is reading this anymore....Oh wait! I know my mom is! Love you, Mom!!! :)

Day 43

I don't think eating out is a very good idea anymore :(. I was shocked to see the amount of calories that were in my little trip to the Outback the other night. Just eating a salad and appetizer, and a tiny little dessert amounted to more calories than I should have the whole day. Such a dang bummer. I did ok yesterday...despite a little dive into a bag of Wavy Lay's....

Breakfast 10:00 am: 3 egg whites, 1/2 red pepper, 1/2 avocado, 1/8 cup monterey jack cheese, 3/4 cup orange juice, whole wheat toast w/ 1 T. natural peanut butter

Lunch 1:45 pm: 2 cups spinach, w/ fat free catalina dressing (1 T.), 1/2 cup 1% cottage cheese, Wavy Lay's...about 15 chips, water to drink

Snack 2:30 pm: chocolate cake protein supplement

Snack 4:00 pm: Gushers (I pretended it was really fruit...heeheehee)

Dinner 6:00 pm: 1/8 recipe of upside down pizza (ground beef, spaghetti sauce, mozzarella cheese, parmesan cheese, reduced fat crescent rolls) 8 baby carrots

Snack 8:00 pm : 2 graham cracker sheets

No work out yesterday. I was so darn sore from my class on Saturday! I'm going to have to work hard at getting these work outs in this week. With a little trip happening this week, I know my nutrition is not going to be stellar, and working out will be difficult to do when the blackjack tables are calling my name :) I need to do the best I can, though. Sure don't want to see a huge gain for one weekend away.

Day 43: Snack monster seems to be hounding me again. I'm ready to punch it in the face.