Sunday, January 16, 2011

Day 2

Hello. My name is Kari, and I seem to have very little will power.

I think one of the hardest things about my struggle with weight has been my husband. The poor dear just doesn't know how to help me. And as I've mentioned before, he doesn't understand the pull that food has on me. He is able to take it or leave it, whether it's dessert, or chips, or whatever! As I started writing this, I noticed someone had left a bag of snacks in here, and as I was pulling them up to go put them back in the pantry, I was very close to just grabbing some. It's 8 o'clock in the morning...Just the sight of a bag of salty puffed crap makes me want to grab them and stuff some in my mouth, and I'm not even hungry. My husband doesn't understand that....Heck, I don't understand that! He has tried for 20 years to be supportive as I try and fail, try and fail. So, I guess after 20 years, he has decided to resort to drastic measures. And so here is a scene from yesterday. I came home from my workout, made a protein shake with fruit in it and sat down to watch Despicable Me with the family. It was about 11:30 so one of my teenage sons was making a frozen pizza for lunch. I had already inhaled a handful of chocolate chips as I was making my shake because I was starving after my 45 minutes on the elliptical. But my shake tasted good and I was enjoying it. When I went to put my empty cup in the sink, the remainder of my son's pizza was on the stove...and it smelled and looked darn good. I grabbed a piece and took a bite and walked back in to the family room, fully intending to eat the entire piece of pizza. My sweet dear stood up out of his easy chair, grabbed the pizza out of my hand and chucked it back on the pan. He actually did the same thing with a bag of chips the other day. Now, I am a grown damn woman, so initially I was pissed that he would do such a thing. I should be able to choose what I want to eat and when. BUT, he has seen how I mindlessly do these things, and has decided he's tired of hearing me complain about how I feel and look. So, I guess my husband may be a snack Nazi for a while...I did thank him after the initial shock wore off from being denied the hot bit of oozy melty cheesy pizza. But I have to wonder, why is my will power so weak at the moment? At other times, even just a couple of months ago, I wasn't tempted by these things at all. Oh the mysteries of the body and mind....I wonder if I will ever get them figured out?!


Breakfast: 2 egg whites + 1 whole egg, scrambled with 2 chopped green onions, 4 oz skim milk to drink, 1/2 piece of orowheat 100% whole wheat toast w/ a dab of honey
Workout: 45 minutes on elliptical
Post Workout/Lunch: protein shake with 1/4 cup blueberries and a banana, a bite of frozen cheese pizza, handful of chocolate chips
Snack: Oops...3 mini Baby Ruth...they're the little tiny square one bite ones....I'm allowed, right?! Now if I could just stop at one....
Dinner: At Chili's, salad with dressing on the side (dipped my fork in the dressing about every other bite), 1/2 portion salmon, about 1/2 cup steamed broccoli, one bite of lava cake, water to drink
Snack: About 10 pieces of popped microwave popcorn
I drank approximately 80 oz of water yesterday. I am taking a multivitamin, fish oil, and joint support daily, as well as an extra Vitamin C to ward off the cold that my son has. I'm down some more on the scale today, which helps me to stay motivated since the changes I've made the last two days have made a difference already.

Day 2: Over and done! Difficult but eye-opening. When I cut out so much crap from my diet, it's like a numbness is wearing off and I can sense more of what my body is telling me it needs. Now if only my brain won't get in the way of what my body is saying.....

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