Goal

I haven't worn a bikini since I was 19. That was 20 years and 5 kids ago. I want to wear one again. Why? Because if I can proudly wear a bikini, it means I've learned how to achieve a goal. Me and goals haven't had the best of relationships. I struggle with knowing what my goals are, much less how to actually accomplish them if I do figure them out. But the one goal that seems to have been the constant over the last 20 years, was to feel better about myself.

I like to say that my weight issues began when I started having kids. But when I'm being really honest with myself, I can look back and see it all began once I went off to college. My first child came along a year and a half in to college, so it's hard to distinguish between the two life-changing experiences a lot of the time. But less physical activity, dorm food and lots of pizza were the beginning of that "freshman 15", and the start of what has now been a 22-year struggle.

I have gained and lost, but over the last 20 years, I can count on one hand the times I have actually felt good about the way my body looked. And up until the last couple of years, it was all about the way my body looked. I think the difference for me now, as I have been working on this new goal, is I want to be healthy, and feel better. So, over the last year, I have lost 40 pounds. And for this next year, my goal is to lose 40 more. This will put me at an 'ideal' weight for my height and age.

The purpose of this blog, is to hold myself accountable by keeping track, for all to see, what I'm eating, and drinking....what I'm struggling with....what's working, what's not. I want to share the triumphs as well as the times I fail. I hope that I can be an encouragement to anyone who may need it, by being 'real' about this whole weight loss thing. And, eventually, I want to post a picture of me, in a bikini, with a really big smile on my face.