Days 28-31

First of all, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!  Love or hate this day, I don't think it's a bad thing to take a day to deliberately think about giving love...and it doesn't just have to be about two love birds!

I guess it's pretty obvious that I'm not writing on a daily basis anymore.  I may get back to that or I may not...I find myself not really wanting to 'fess up to what I'm eating these days.  I'm not saying it has all gone to hell....I'm just not really limiting any certain things.  I'm just trying to keep from snacking on junk, and limiting my portion sizes.  Some days are better than others!

I made it to the gym Friday, and took a long walk outside on our beautiful Colorado Saturday morning.  I didn't feel so hot yesterday, so stayed at home.  My rash has decided to return...so much for the 'cycle' hypothesis.  It is certainly not time for my cycle to start, so the rash just seems to be coming and going as it pleases.  If this continues much longer, I guess I'm going to have to start returning to doctor's offices to see if we can figure it out.  As much as I try to stay calm about it, I end up freaking out.  Although it has been a fairly small area these last few times, I am terrified of it returning to its full blown glory that it was the first time it reared its ugly head.

One really great thing about the last week...I made dinner five out of seven nights.  The dinners weren't the greatest as far as lean protein and veggies or anything, but they were not fast food, or pizza...so I am happy about that!  Amazing what a little planning ahead can do!

I'm not really even considering myself a part of the challenge at the gym anymore.  Last year, this challenge helped me to lose about 10 pounds in 12 weeks...I was feeling really good!!  This year, however, I consider myself on Day 32 of an entirely different kind of challenge.  Yes, you can tell by the new title what part of the challenge is....contentment.  But as I reflect on the last month, I am beginning to realize I am being challenged to live my life right now...to not keep thinking I will be living my best life once I am the weight or size I want to be.  And I'm learning to love me for who I am now, and not who I used to be.  Although there are some qualities of the younger me that I would like to see return, I can't be that Kari anymore...I am who I am now because of the life I have lived.  It has been a good life..it IS a good life, and I want to celebrate it every single day, and not dwell on trying to return to some kind of Eden I tend to picture the life I had as the skinnier me.

I love that I can google search for anything these days..and I get wonderful quotes all the time.  I never  know who has really quoted certain things, but I do think a lot of them are worth passing along!
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."  

I'm challenging myself to remember this...maybe you can challenge yourself to remember it too!!