Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Day 18

I will not call this giving up...but I think I should stop wasting everyone's time with this blog! It is pretty obvious that the Body Transformation Challenge has turned in to a Life Transformation Challenge or Mind Transformation Challenge. And the transformation isn't happening...I am thinking that I need to start over. But I'm always starting over....it's always after the weekend, or after this trip, or after this party, or after this snow day. The determination that shows up, wanes so quickly...especially when I don't see results right away.

My attitude is crap. Maybe it's still ok for me to blog on these kind of days because it's real....you can see the struggles I'm having. I had Fruity Pebbles for breakfast. I might bake a cake today because it's really cold outside and it will put smiles on my kids' faces. I will not be leaving the house since the wind chill is -35 degrees (that's not an exaggeration!). I won't be exercising because of the rash I have....getting hot and sweaty completely aggravates it. So, already, I have determined no progress will be made today. Hmmmm....shooting out those tires again....

The question has come up about the nature of this blog. Someone was wondering if maybe I was just writing the blog to get responses like "Kari, you're doing so great" or "Kari, you're just the greatest person who ever lived"..... After the really long entry the other day, I was worried that people would be thinking I was looking for sympathy or something. The only reason I started the blog last year, and then started it up again this year, was to document the 12 weeks of what was supposed to be a weight loss challenge. I wanted to be accountable to the people who might be reading my blog. I thought it would keep me on track. It definitely causes me to think twice before I grab a cheeseburger. So, I submit to you that I am not looking for sympathy, or pats on the back, or even solutions, although all of those things end up being fuel to keep me going sometimes. I am putting it out there for all to see because I hope that it helps me....and well, maybe helps somebody else too.

P.S. Yesterday's food:
Breakfast: 2 egg whites, 1 egg, scrambled with green pepper, whole wheat toast w/ peanut butter, apple
Lunch: leftover sweet and sour chicken, veggie egg roll
Snack: smoothie w/ banana, blueberries, spinach, 1%milk, protein supplement
Dinner: 1/4 of a frozen pizza, can of Pepsi
Dessert: chocolate mint protein bar
Got 80 oz of water in, didn't snack on crap....



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