Day 19

The last week has been tough. I've had a bad attitude, haven't felt good, and pretty much gave up on the challenge. I definitely think there have been lots of things contributing to that bad attitude. Some I already knew, but some things I just realized last night. They could definitely be why it has been so tough. No matter how much I try to compartmentalize my life, one thing always ends up having an effect on another.

First, it truly was PMS, that was made clear today...I apologize to anyone who doesn't want to hear about woman 'problems' but I cannot dismiss the effect that my hormones have on how I feel and what I'm thinking and ultimately what I'm eating! I applaud the women who are somehow able to overcome these challenges...me? I had a chocolate chip cookie for breakfast.

Second, we have been potty training our little girl. It didn't dawn on me until last night that this particular project we are working on could be contributing to difficulties with my attitude. I have said that potty training is one of my least favorite parts of parenting....and here I am, facing it for the fifth time. My patience is put to the test. I am cleaning up lots of messes. I am trying to remain calm with a screaming and crying daughter who doesn't want to poop on the potty. (She's doing really well with the other part, but the whole number 2 thing is a challenge.) I have to realize that this added stress has probably helped me to be less tolerant of my own little challenges.

Let's see...I've talked about periods, poop and pee...What else can I bring up that will make everyone uncomfortable? Vomit?! Nah!!! Instead, how about my rash?....another wonderful challenge and wonderfully uncomfortable subject....I guess the rash would be circumstance number three that is adding to my bad attitude. I'm really going to be watching to see if the rash is connected to my monthly cycle...I am suspicious at this point.

The fourth circumstance that I should mention is that my husband is traveling. He has been gone for a week, and will be gone a couple more days. I didn't want to think that him being gone would have an effect on what I'm trying to accomplish. I wanted our transition to his traveling to go smoothly. I didn't want any issues creeping in. Why? Because I want him to be able to do the job he loves. I don't want to be an obstacle to him achieving career success and satisfaction. I actually don't think I have done too bad as far as handling kids' stuff and house stuff (well, not much has been accomplished on the house...crap!) But then when I look at how bad my attitude has been towards myself, I have to wonder if somehow I'm really not handling it as well as I think.

I hope to present to you a much more upbeat Kari in a few days. I really prefer being the one cracking jokes and making people smile! All of this introspection, although essential, is exhausting!

The good: the furnace is working (it's been like -100 degrees the last couple days...ok, that's a LITTLE bit of an exaggeration)

The bad: I haven't been to the gym since Friday

The ugly: did I mention my rash? ;)

I was not gonna document yesterday's food...but here goes:

Breakfast: Fruity Pebbles

Lunch: Cheez Its

Dinner: Chicken, spinach salad

Dessert: Coors Light

Let's see, also consumed at some point yesterday....three small pancakes, chocolate chip cookie dough, chocolate chip cookies, Pepsi...oh and about 80 oz of water....