Thursday, May 20, 2010

Day....What day is this? I need another Day 1!

I made good progress from January to mid-April. I was motivated. I was in the habit of eating better and going to the gym at least 3 times a week. I was blogging every day, or almost every day. I was keeping a food journal. I have discovered over the last month that it is way too easy to revert back to old bad habits.

I have this mental attitude that is all wrong and I need to work on it. I figure once I "mess up" eat a bucket of popcorn at the movies, that I might as well just go have a crazy meal, and a pop and a candy bar and who knows what else!...And I've been doing that for a month now. I told my trainer about that, and he said that's like accidentally hitting a kid with your car, and then going and deliberately finding his parents and hitting them too. That doesn't make any sense, nor does my attitude of just continuing my binges once I mess up a little.

I'm so disappointed in myself because it really seemed like I had developed good habits. I felt like taking a little time off after that challenge, but this is ridiculous!!! Today I woke up saying today was the day I would not grab the junk in the house. I promptly ate 2 Golden Oreo cookies first thing this morning. Once that happened, there went my attitude again. As I was polishing off a bag of Fritos just now, I decided I would head to my blog and let it all out here.

It looks like I've gained about 4 pounds back since the challenge ended. If I keep eating the way I'm eating, and making one trip to the gym a week, I'm gonna be in big trouble! So, here I am again, putting it out for all to see. I have a couple of things coming up that I was hoping would motivate me to get back on track. I have my cousin's wedding in a couple of weeks, and I hope I can at least get these 4 pounds back off before then. And then in July, I turn 40....Oh, how I would love to be down another couple of dress sizes before then!!

I don't want to be fat anymore!!! I am so much happier with how I look now...but I definitely have some work to do yet. Just take a look at my stomach the next time you see me. Then you'll see there is still work to be done!! On second thought, please keep your eyes on my face... :)

Tonight there is a taco dish on the menu for the family dinner. I imagine I'll eat that, and probably have a beer or two. Then tomorrow, I will start recording my food. With a road trip coming up, maybe it isn't the best time to try and start again, but I have to! Somehow, I have to get out of the bad funk I'm in!!!

1 comment:

  1. I'm here with you Kari. Everything you just said is what I do too. I do good for a while and as a reward I sit back and somehow magically expect the results to continue. I like the analogy your trainer gave about the food. That's going to stick with me. One mess up and I piss the whole day away.

    Don't wait for after the road trip to make a change. Because if you do there will just be something else beyond that that will put it off even longer.

    As the wise Chicken Little said "Today's a new day!". Forget yesterday, don't worry about tomorrow, work on being proud of today. One day, one workout, one meal at a time. And call your friends for support. You know we will talk you off to Oreo ledge!

    I love you more then you know!